Counterpoint: Nashville Won't Be a Disaster...
They’ll Be An Embarrassment
by Jonah Colina
(the entirely correct views expressed here represent that of the author)
Nashville’s famous Beale Street
Friend and noted soccer expert, Kevin Wallace, recently wrote a scathing blog post about Nashville SC’s upcoming expansion season. While it made a compelling case for a familiar and fun first year flame out, many readers (especially from Nashville) took issue with his claims. While I hate to come out against a fellow Pride member and frequent podcast contributor, I’m afraid I need to push back on what he wrote. Nashville will not be a disaster, they will simply be an embarrassment.
THE HISTORY:
Two years ago, as me and my fellow supporters freshed and refreshed social media for MLS expansion rumors, Nashville was an afterthought. But in the blink of an eye, with big money and a ram rodded, ham cockeded stadium plan, the Sacramento’s and Cincinnati’s of the world were leapfrogged, making way for this new southern belle. THEY HAD IT ALL! Millennial’s, young people, young professionals, yo-pro’s, y p’s, financial consultants, beards, former contestants from The Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor In Paradise, a hockey team and a grounds so fair, you couldn’t sleep as it constantly cried out “soccer!”. The mayor fucked her bodyguard. Let’s be honest, Cincinnati was bitter. We had done the dance and danced it well, only to realize it wasn’t enough. We put our collective heads down and got back to work, hoping for a future chance.
“ Beyond that, the online presence of the team’s fans felt oddly neutered, stale and confused”
Nashville, meanwhile, wouldn’t be ready for the MLS for a couple years, so they began their journey in the USL. With the excitement of future Major glory, their brief stint in the lower division of American soccer was to be a long, glorious celebration of all things good in Nashville sports fandom. Supporters groups were formed, and fans shared their hopes and dreams on the internet. It soon became evident though, that it was not all craft beer and hot chicken. Some heroic residents pushed back on the club’s plan to destroy the beloved Nashville Fairgrounds (possible First Nations burial ground and UNESCO heritage site); a historic location and makeshift shrine to noteworthy elderly Nashville residents. Beyond that, the online presence of the team’s fans felt oddly neutered, stale and confused. Nashville fans clashed with those of other USL teams, and blamed their rough relationship with FC Cincinnati on our supposed jealousy at their expansion spot. While yes, FCC fans petitioning online to “save the fairgrounds” may have come across as petty, it was truly all for the love of soccer, and that beautiful fairgrounds. Many felt the stadium belonged closer to their beloved Sunsphere; a gorgeous reminder of the 1982 World’s Fair Nashville hosted.
THE USL:
Luckily all the drama, bickering, sniveling and bodyguard boinking could be a distant memory with the start of their first season. The new fan-base came out strong! Not FCC strong mind you, but strong. It was a fantastic starting point that would only get better as the march towards promotion began. Game after game, the crowds built up until sections started overflowing. Temporary seating was added to quench the insatiable thirst for Nashville soccer. Eventually the minor league baseball stadium wasn’t enough to hold the throngs of supporters, so all games were moved to Nissan stadium. It was there that Nashville faced FC Cincinnati on a perfect Summer night. 70k filled the Nease and the entire soccer loving world had to sit up and take notice. Huge swaths of grown men weeping in the stands as the reality of what was being accomplished sank in. This club was a force to be reckoned with, and a year and a half from then, they would be taking the the MLS by storm!
Artist depiction
BUT THAT WAS ALL A DREAM…
As all the major soccer news outlets have reported, Nashville was an abject failure in the stands and unfortunately, a laughing stock across the country. Once the dozen or so committed supporters began noticing how alone they were, emergency online meetings were held to discuss how they could downplay the significance of their pre the the the MLS seasons. I was sent anonymous screenshots from WhatsApp conversations and private Facebook groups from an insider (Hi, if you’re reading), showing how frayed and dismayed they had become. The fans they did have refused to travel, refused to engage in honest and healthy discussion, or simply deflected all criticism with no moments of introspection. The fever pitched and unhinged reactions to Kevin’s spirited blog post were not an aberration, but an honest reflection of when the beautiful game turns ugly.
THE MAJORS:
The march to the the the the MLS had become a free-fall into madness. The scattered “group” of remaining fans lashed out at innocent bystanders; whining and pleading to be left alone. While critics would say FCC had their own issues to focus on, leading a movement means never leaving the most helpless and pathetic behind. We had perfected the role of supporter, and although it would have minimal impact on the field, it shone as a beacon of inspiration to the lifeless, muffled yelps heard two states below. Growing the sport was far too important a task for us not to reach out a hand and attempt to inspire the withering strands of coarse rectal hair, tightly woven between cheeks and blocking the necessary bowel movements. And you wonder why they’re so full of shit? Folks…
The season is approaching rapidly, and Nashville has tried to shake the zen like trance of USL nothingness into something vaguely resembling excitement. They’ve signed Dax McCarty’s head and several other players with names and numbers. They’ve kept their USL head coach Alan Koch to shore things up on the field, but with Nissan stadium being roughly 45 minutes from downtown, they’ll be hard pressed to get more fans in the gate than last year, even with a successful product. This isn’t a slight on Nashvillians, but the allure of their famous Beale Street is difficult for anyone to resist on a Saturday night. Can they shock the world and prove the overwhelming consensus wrong? Only time will tell…
THE CONCLUSION:
“Write about your own team!” I hear the people exclaim. But how many articles can you write about Old Faithful? She gushes, goes dormant, and gushes again. You can set your watch to it. So just relax, Cytherea. FCC is a known entity, solid and true. We are firm and resilient. We are rock hard and saluting the troops. They’ll be a time soon when we will write about our ascent to glory, but not today. Today is for the dreamers, the visionaries, and yes, the embarrassing. There are no atheists in a foxhole, and I’m afraid there are no fans in Nashville.
War Fiddle, Impeach Doolsta and God bless The MLS.